Marriage blues - who is responsible?

We have two sets of activities to perform. First set of activities are drinking, eating, bathing and sleeping etc. and in the second set of activities there are earning, managing married life, bringing up children, bringing balance between professional and personal life etc. When we are very small we depend completely on our parents and elders for the completion of these first kinds of activities but as we grow up we take charge of these activities and start perfuming them independently. For the completion of second kinds of activities we too depend on others but the ratio of dependence decreases. Now we are more responsible for the completion or non completion of these activities but ironically we do not understand it and take charge of fulfilling these activities ourselves like we take in completing the first kind of activities. We expect others to perform it for us.

You may have seen husband and wife quarrelling. A husband criticises her wife’s mother for interfering in their life while a wife blames her husband’s mother for not letting them enjoy their life. You may also have seen parents holding their child’s progress card and accusing each other for their child’s poor performance. A mother angrily says that father does not spare efficient time for the child whereas father speaks clearly that mother wastes her time in watching television or gossiping with her friends in spite of teaching the child.

In both the cases nobody is ready to take the responsibility for the negative. In the first case a husband does not try to give such a friendly and loving attitude to his wife that she herself does not feel the need to talk to her mother regarding their personal life. And a wife also does not bother to have a look on her own attitude and make a strategy so that both of them live happily and peacefully. In the second case father does not try to think to give more time to the child for improvement and mother also does not accept that she needs to be more attentive towards child.

In spite of focusing on their own negatives they concentrate on others. Here the actual problem lies. If this problem is not understood and solved it causes emotional and physical disturbances and illness. Sometimes it also causes temporary or permanent break-up. So take it seriously and learn to hold yourself responsible for your responsibilities. It will lead you to happy and contented life.

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