You can Save your Relationiship if you Act now

Suppose you are in a romantic relationship and you have begun to have had serious doubts about it. Over recent months your partner and you have grown apart and find yourselves either arguing about things or just withdrawing into our own space. Those wonderful feelings of love that you started out with at the beginning of the relationship have faded and now you wonder if she is the right woman for you. You would stay with her if she gave you more love and attention.

Exactly this is a situation that millions of us find ourselves in and can easily lead to a broken relationship. The first thing to recognize is that when two people come together they both bring to the relationship their NEEDS - these will vary but all of them will include the need to be accepted, understood and loved. It is in trying to have our needs met that problems arise in a relationship because it can easily become a fight to make sure ours our met at the expense of our partner.

Truthfully, in any relationship there will be aspects that we feel our missing - our partner is not giving us something - they are not fulfilling one of our needs. In my example it might be that I feel my partner is withdrawing from me and feels distant. In this case she is not moving towards me with a sense of love and connection. I will tend to assume that this is something she is failing to do. The way through this is to realize that it always takes two people to withdraw. At some level I must also be withdrawing and she will be feeling exactly as I do about me and the relationship, even if she is unable or unwilling to express this due to a lack of awareness or a fear that to do so would jeopardize the relationship.

Now what is the solution. It is therefore to recognize that WHAT I WANT from the relationship (more closeness and love) is what I am CALLED TO GIVE. If I can let go of my need for her to make the first move and come to me and instead move towards her with love and compassion, then she will feel better about the relationship and move towards me with the same sentiments. This technique brings us back into partnership and allows for meaningful communication and increased connection. And I swear this is definitely going to save your relationship.

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