Marriage Rocks: A prescription for a happy wedded life

Marriage Rocks
ISBN: 9788122309867
Author: Dr. Jaideep Singh Chadha
Publisher: Pustak Mahal (www.pustakmahal.com,)

Grand Parents: Extract from the book Marriage Rocks

There are grandmothers that we see mostly,
though they are never the grandmothers in its true sense.
They like their role of mother-in-law better and are in fact mother-in-law and grandmother rolled in one.

It has been said that the perfect grandmother is a
paragon of virtue. She is loving and helpful, never
interferes and never offers an opinion unless asked
for. This is a fantasy grandmother, but then one can
at least try.

When children arrive, grandparents are not far
behind in this state of ecstasy. They are genuinely fond
of their grandchildren.

If I had known grandchildren were so
much fun, I would have had them
before my children.
...a grandparent

These are the days when the intelligent and highly
educated daughter-in-law decides to live separately from
her interfering in-laws. Out goes the support system of
the oldies! They do not mind missing out on the support
system, because of the domestic help that is easily
available in India. Children can be conveniently sent to
crèches where they are looked after fairly well. But if
she is living abroad with her husband, she is the
sweetest daughter-in-law anyone can have this side or
the other side of Suez Canal. She is ready to send her
tickets with entreaties of ‘come visit us in the States,
mom’. This happens only when she has delivered her
child. Foreign shores provide everything except cheap
nannies. So, the cheapest ones available are from good
old India in the garb of Mom (hers or his). Hardly
matters!

These emotional women, the Moms, will no doubt
lug their husbands along, but that is a hazard the
‘children’ happily endure. The elders will cook, clean
and look after their grandchild. They will even take their
child out for a stroll in the garden.

The latest technique adopted by a daughter was
unique. This lady calls up her mother and tells her to
come to the States to visit them. She sends her a one
way ticket. The mother reaches her daughter, does what
she is supposed to for the family for a few months. One
day, the daughter takes her for sightseeing in a park so
remote that even a thorough-bred American would find
it difficult not to get lost.

She tells her mamma, “Mamma,
please sit here while I get something to munch on.”
Now, the illiterate mamma did not that her darling
daughter was not coming back. The lost mamma is
picked up by a patrol officer, who does not know the
language she speaks. He takes her to the police station.
Once they ascertain her nationality, they take her to the
Indian Embassy. Since the daughter has her mamma’s
passport, so mamma does not know where she lives or
where her daughter lives. Ultimately, she is deported
back to India. Lovely daughter has succeeded in saving
the return fare too!

Parents of these children who are settled abroad
have understood the game, but they can do nothing
about it. They are in love with their children and
grandchildren. The tight emotional noose gets tighter
with the passing years. Problem is that they have no
friends in an alien country. If there is more of their kind,
they are suffering from the same paradox. Ultimately,
they beseech their children to let them go back home.

It is not that these children do not love their parents.
They do, but then they are so caught up in their own
problems and their daily rituals that bringing up children
becomes very difficult. They look towards the shores
that they have left behind and see their parents, four of
them living there with apparently nothing to do. So they
send them invitations to visit them. The babysitting is a
camouflaged, built in carrot which no grandparent can
miss out on. And they come running! The rest is history.

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