Top 5 Things You Shoud Never Say To a Lady

I’ll stay away from the obvious misogynistic “Leave it to Beaver” list. It would be easy (and tactless) to write a list of: “Honey, where’s my dinner?”, “Cooking and cleaning? That’s woman work!”, and “Just another reason why women shouldn’t drive.” This is not a list of ignorant “weaker sex” stereotypes. It is intended to help my fellow gents avoid trouble with their contemporary ladies.

I also don’t consider appropriate the line “I don’t love you anymore.” While that might be the worst thing for anybody to hear, if that’s the honest case, you shouldn’t avoid saying it. A lady deserves to know - so she can move on, you jerk! And you were going to avoid telling her. Sheesh.

Let’s keep this a little lighter, shall we?

5. “You look awful. Did you get enough sleep last night?” No lady wants to hear she looks awful. And if she didn’t get enough sleep - whether for reasons good or bad - if she didn’t bring it up - you’re not meant to know about it.

4. “I know what you’re thinking.” No you don’t. You may think you do. You may be able to guess what she’s thinking. But you are deeply underestimating her intelligence by assuming you know exactly what is going on behind those eyes. You wish you knew. The best way to know is to ask her.

3. “Don’t you trust me?” If your lady asks you this when you return later than expected (or very early the day after expected) - hope that this isn’t on your lips. Either she doesn’t trust you, which is a problem. Or she does trust you. She cares about you. She was worried sick and couldn’t sleep - and you’re saying this defensively because you DO have something to hide. She shouldn’t trust you. And that’s a big problem.

2. “That’s a great new hairstyle. It’s way better than your old one.” This is what I call a comparative compliment. I’m sure you meant well by saying something nice - and the first sentence is quite nice. But the compliment is built upon a put down of her previous image. Getting a haircut is not a public acknowledgment of disdain for the previous hairstyle. It’s fine for you to have a preference, but you know better than telling a lady she has un-preferable hair. So don’t think that because now you approve that you can get away with it. Comparative compliments are hidden insults.

1. “Congratulations! I see that you are pregnant.” This is the worst thing you can say to a lady. It is never safe to make this assumption. If she is pregnant and wants to talk about it, she will tell you. And if she’s not, your mistake has cruelly poked her in the belly - which happens to be a gesture one should avoid giving a lady (whether she should be conscious of her weight or not). “Congratulations, I noticed you gained weight!” Don’t go there.

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