DIVORCE AND DIVORCEES- A CASE STUDY

Following the latest changes that have been announced on Sep 21st, I have done my job of posting five blogs with this one. After this, I think I now have the choice of posting if I want any one liners /mere pics/ U-tubes at my own peril, even if they may not be counted for points. So I am to concentrate on Sawals and opinions. Well.to put it legitimately, this blog should have been a sawal but has entered this territory for being too large in the sawal. It has a problem and demands solution which will be welcomed if the readers could add it in the comment section.

There was this lady, an exceptionally good looking one and a distant acquaintance of mine, who divorced her husband on the grounds of desertion. She’d got married to him fifteen years ago in the traditional way. After marriage, he took her to his joint family and she was to live there, cooking and cleaning for him, his parents and his brothers. She conceived very quickly and also developed TB after the child birth , due to post-natal anaemia. After 3 months, she returned to the marital home with the baby.

Her husband’s people slowly began to extract work from her heavily in the kitchen. She had no time for her child and also for herself. But she kept doing all the work as was the demand of the situation. With effect that, neither was her baby’s toilet training done properly nor was he taught to brush his teeth. The child developed ulcers in the mouth and cavities in the teeth as the morning time of the mother was held up in the kitchen and nobody else bothered to take care of the baby. Very soon she conceived again and still she was expected to do the same kind of routine work.

Her legs could not stand the strain of the belly during the long kitchen hours and she developed acute back pain and a permanent sprain which wouldn’t leave. Above all this, her husband’s demands of sexual intercourse with her in the night, oblivious to her suffering made her so tired that she was not able to take care of personal hygiene that is so important. Therefore, she developed fungal infections in the private parts and it’s increased botheration stopped the couple from having relations in the night. Therafter, her husband began to come late at night, sometimes at 1 O’clock or 2 O’ clock. He would then take a long bath and simply go to bed without explaining about his whereabouts.

About her husband, it can be said that, he was running a company which became insolvent in a year after the marriage. After that, they had been fending on the capital sum of the company. He had heavy dues in the bank, where his wife had locked her jewels, with the husband’s name as the first name. The jewels were sealed and a notice was sent to him. The husband took no action on this matter, did not tell her that she will not see her jewels any more and himself took no effort to earn money.

The wife’s parents found their daughter reduced to rags without her knowledge and shed tears. Her wardrobe was not replenished, her needs were not taken care of but work alone was extracted from morn to dawn. Their daughter was married now for four years and still she had no savings and did not even receive a single penny from her husband for her upkeep/ savings or for the baby’s needs. When they took her home for the delivery of the second child, they found that her hands were scalded due to extreme soap allergy, her feet were full of sores due to constant barefooted walking on the floors,vaginal infections, the intense back sprain and also psychological stress due to feelings of insecurity and neglect. To top it all, she had no money nor did her husband send any money during the six months that she and her kid stayed with her parents for the delivery. His explanation was that she had gone to her parents’ house and why would they expect him to spend on their daughter.

Soon the parents found out that he wasn’t calling up to talk to her over phone,no letters and did not come to spend time with the children on his own. He would come only if she called him up for giving money for the vaccinations or doctor’s appointment. Smelling something fishy, the parents advised the daughter not to return to her –in laws. They got her a job and put her in a professional course through correspondence. Her husband was not providing for her and the girl had to work for the upkeep of her children.

She began to earn and slowly developed some self-confidence. Her hard work won her respect in the place of work and she got pay hike and promotion. Now her parents felt that she had had enough of her husband and suggested divorce. If the divorce was not had, her husband would use her funds for footing his credits and she will have to sacrifice the interests of her children, their education and future. She easily obtained divorce in the name of desertion. They bought her a flat where she and her kids could live in peace.

For seven years she worked hard and educated her children. She was well settled and gained a good reputation too. Her husband returned after that and wanted to take her and the kids back home. Although the girl was tradition bound, she considered that once now that she has got divorced, her choice was open. Why should she go back to a man who had totally neglected her? Her ex husband may have a good job as he began to send maintenance for the children. Yet, her feelings for him had got sour due to his protracted neglect. She responded to his suggestion with coldness. She accepted the cheques that he began to send, saved it in a bank although she did not use the money any time for any purpose. She did not know what to do with that money. She abhorred returning to him and she decided not to use the money which did not come when she was with him, as his wife. Now it is coming to lure her back?

Her world had now changed and she came across many interesting people. She made up her mind that she would choose a life partner from among them,after her responsibilities towards her children got lesser. She would find a mate for friendship and love this time and lead a successful second life that ended in a happy twilight.

I found her a woman of strong and noble character and thought I could help her in some ways.Now, what do u think-

Do you think she should stick to ideals and return to husband although she detests him now;
or she should stay single as social values frowns on a woman's second marriage;
Or do you feel she should follow the course of her mind in keeping with the new Hindu laws as she has a right to a good second marriage, in case it comes her way?
If you are introduced to her and you like her, will you accept her as a life partner (if you are legally single, that is)

Your suggestions and advice will be posted to her as she seeks the concurrence of educated intelligensia, before taking her decision.

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