I honestly loved you too
Every now and then, there will always be a song that touches your soul. Sometimes it’s one that reminds you of someone you love, sometimes it’s the poignant voice of the singer and the emotions that it convey, sometimes it’s just the lyrics.
For me, there’s this song that combines all three…and whenever I listen to it, I feel this heart rendering pain, this feeling of loss and of what could have been.
A girl fell deeply in love with me five years ago. She told everyone, and I was very embarrassed and denied I knew her, because she was of a lower status than mine in society. How ashamed I am to admit this right now. For her love was pure and strong and I can never compare to her in my cowardice to love.
How many girls have the courage to tell you in the face that she loves you, even though you have already rejected and refused her? No matter how many times I refused to answer or just feigned ignorance, she would just simply say, I love you.
Once when we were in a karaok pub, she sang this song by Olivia Newton John titled “I Honestly Love You”. Her voice was angelic; her profession was a pub singer; and the emotion she carried with the song was unforgettable. She brought the mike from the stage, took a stool and sat right in front of me, sang me the song right in front of my face. Little did I know that at that time she already belonged to another due to financial circumstances, and the fact that she knew I didn’t love her. It's only years later when I heard the song again that I realised the significance and weight of that dedication that night.
I fell in love too late. I’ve already lost her.
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Oh this is sad. We will
Oh this is sad. We will realize things are meant for us when its slips away. I hope there will still be a chance for you and her to be together. Fight for what you feel. If she loves you she will be return.
hope
Hi there creamolady, thanks for commenting. You know, there are times when I really wish I can see her again. I have lost the opportunity to know her better, to understand and appreciate her as a person, and I hope that one day I might meet her again, to have another chance. It's been 5 years, and I have never heard news of her, sadly. I do not know whether is she in e country still, or elsewhere now, and though I've tried to contact acquaintances of her, they do not know where is she either.
I myself travel frequently and is not easy to find. It's really a matter of fate if we do meet again.