though it hurts, i simply love

My boyfriend and i have been together for more than 7 years. We've had our fair share of fights about jealousy, third parties, late night outings and all the usual stuff that lovers often go through in the early, and even the late stages of being together. Roughly on our second year, the time when we finished high school and moved on to college, my boyfriend got tempted by all the lovely girls that scattered around the campus. He started fooling around, so we broke up. But then, somehow he realized that being with me was more important to him and proved to me that it was worth a second chance. Unofficially, we got back together. I had and still have no regrets of us getting back together. He became more responsible and loyal to me. But that didn't mean that we no longer fought, of course we did and still do. Third parties were a thing of our past already, especially now that we embark on another journey as professionals with a whole new set of goals. Since my boyfriend is not from my city, he moved on to his hometown which is just 4 hours away from mine to work as a nurse at the local hospital. We keep in touch, and he visits me once or twice a month. Actually, there is no problem because i know from my heart (and my sources :) ) that he is not cheating on me. I know him too well to think that he would find another without me knowing sooner or later. But then, yesterday, i received a text message from an unknown number that said: your boyfriend is cheating on you. it so alarmed me that i replied to the number. I asked the unknown informant what his/her proof was but all he/she did was to tell me to be cautious especially that my boyfriend and i are keeping a not-so-distant relationship and that alone is a factor. and so i told her that maybe you like my boyfriend but i'm sorry you can't have him. That informant never gave specifics on who my boyfriend was supposedly seeing and never give names. I threatened her by the way, that if ever what she's telling me is not true, she better make sure that she is very good at hiding her true identity because with just one slip i will track her down and make sure she never sees the light of day ever again. hehehe, what a bad thing to say, but i was at the brim of my anger and frustration that i didn't think for a second about handling the situation calmly. I called up my boyfriend and told him all about it. He told me not to cry and not to believe that informant right away. He told me that if i trust him, why would i dive into such rumor right away and believe it. I've tried texting him before using another number that he doesn't know about but he never falls for the trap. He even does not erase all the unknown numbers that want to text with him so that for a second, i will never doubt his sincerity to me. He never replies, nor even answers calls for these other interested women that text him. After i threatened that informant, i tried to contact the number but it was already not in use. I mean, why would someone who wants to warn me about my cheating boyfriend just says be cautious and doesn't give any details about who, what, when,where and how my boyfriend cheated on me? I figured, maybe this informant really was interested in my boyfriend but since she can't get any response from him, she tries to text me instead to ruin our relationship. But still, i have these doubts. I told my boyfriend over the phone that if ever he falls out of love with me, i want him to tell it to my face because as much as i love him, i don't want to end up unable to get back on my feet and move on with my life. It is so horrible and it's such a trauma after what happened to his older brother and his wife. They moved to a bigger city to provide for their 6-year old boy, got jobs but then his brother found a co-worker who was pretty, petite and had the same likes as him and so fooled around. That left his wife so miserable having to witness everything and having told in the face by her husband that he wasn't good enough for him and he likes the new one much, much better. I don't want us to end up like that. We have dreams together, we are close to each other's families... even my sister tells me that it is impossible that my boyfriend can do that to me because he calls and texts me everytime he goes to work and returns, he tells me where he is and so on.. he isn't even shy or embarrassed to answer my calls at work and tell me he loves me over the phone with all his co-workers around. I know deep in my heart that, that informant just wanted to ruin our relationship, but i can't help but keep and open mind. I don't want to be one-sided. I have the benefit of the doubt, and it is driving me insane. My friend already told a friend who works with my boyfriend in the same hospital to investigate and spy around. I don't know if it's the right thing to do but, what can i do? Just wait and see if it's true? I don't know if i should bother with this issue. But everything that concerns the love of your life is an issue. Or maybe, i just don't know what to do that's why i can't help but entertain it in my mind. I do hope that this is just what i think it is and nothing more. But then, boys will always be boys... My mind is so stressed out i keep moving from one view to another, back and forth , back and forth. This is just one way of pouring my heart out without anybody judging me. And i hope that anyone out there who happens to read this blog will be as honest to me as possible if ever you happen to have something to say to me.

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